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"Little Bunny Foo Foo was the bully of the school
His whiskers and his leather jacket made him look so cool
The other rabbits lived in fear when Foo Foo was around
And wherever you had trouble, Bunny Foo Foo could be found"
- Bunny Foo Foo - the High School Years
1. I Want to be a Spy
I want to be a
secret agent
I want to be a spy,
Hide in corners, wear dark glasses,
Torture me - I won't cry.
I read lots of books on spies
Their habits are absurd,
But when I make my chocolate milk
It's shaken - never stirred
[CHORUS]
A spy knows lots of secrets
He travels in disguise,
And he can hypnotize you
When you look into his eyes
I just got a cryptic e-mail
It was from my mom
She's helping me design my web page
Jamesbond.com
Learning how to speak in Russian,
Camera in my tie,
Secret codes and martial arts,
I want to - be a spy.
[CHORUS]
A spy knows lots of secrets
He travels in disguise,
And he can hypnotize you
When you look into his eyes
TOP OF PAGE
2. Because We're Dogs
Digging in the
garden, and barking at the moon,
I'm bored with being home alone I
hope you're coming soon.
I'm howling at the sirens, and chewing on a stick
I practice
rolling in the dirt cause that's my favorite trick
[CHORUS]
Because We're DOGS - We love to play!
We get into the garbage every day!
Because We're DOGS - and we scratch fleas!
And we don't need no stinkin' pedigrees!
I'm chewing up your sneakers, cause they smell like your feet.
I'm jumping on your sofa cause I think it's really neat,
I look
out all the windows, and slobber on the glass
I wish that I could
go outside and pee pee in the grass
[CHORUS]
No me gustan gatos, no me gustan baths,
No me gusta thunder, and no comprendo math,
Fetch your stupid
paper, jumpin' through your hoop,
I been waitin' all day, to go
outside and play!
I don't have any homework and I don't pay any bills,
I haven't
really practiced any marketable skills,
But I'll learn to carry
packages and find your mother's keys,
And I'll always take the
blame when someone says "Who cut the cheese?"
[CHORUS]
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3. Uncle Tony's Dentures
Uncle Tony lost his teeth
We don’t know where they are,
We’ve searched throughout the living room
And even in his car,
He needs them before dinner
To eat my mother’s stew,
Without them he is helpless,
‘Cause he can’t even chew,
[CHORUS]
Step to the left,
Hop to the right,
Arms out wide and then in tight,
Just be careful you don’t step
On Uncle Tony’s dentures
First he lost his wallet,
And then he lost his keys,
Once the dentures bit the dog
When Uncle Tony sneezed,
He put his shirt on backwards
With a sweater underneath,
And now poor Uncle Tony
Has done misplaced his teeth,
[CHORUS]
Suddenly it came to him,
It popped into his head,
“I know I took my dentures out
Before I went to bed…
I put them in some water,
On the nightstand in a cup,
Then underneath my pillow
So they’d be close
When I woke up!”
[CHORUS]
I ran and grabbed his pillow,
And then looked underneath,
But nothin’ there resembled
Poor Uncle Tony’s teeth,
Now I don’t believe in fairies
And I hope I never will,
But under Tony’s pillow
Was a twenty dollar bill!
[CHORUS]
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4. I'm Your Toaster
I woke up this
morning
In a dumpster full of trash
I never thought that breakfast
yesterday would be my last
Although I'm resting in this
Stinking garbage purgatory,
I once ruled the kitchen
So please listen to my story -
I'd tell you just how great I am
but I am not a boaster
I know you like your microwave
but you'll like me the most sir
I'll rock and roll your breakfast
better than a roller coaster
I'm your toaster, I'm your toaster
My spirit has been in this world
since bonfires and bread
But not til 19 hundred 9
did science move ahead
An element, a wire rack
And a porcelain base
The toaster was invented
GE had won the race
I'd tell you just how great I am
but I am not a boaster
I know you like your microwave
but you'll like me the most sir
I'll rock and roll your breakfast
better than a roller coaster
I'm your toaster, I'm your toaster
Then in 1926
McGraw Electric Company
Hired an inventor
named Jean Otis Reinecke
He'd already designed the famous
Scotch tape dispenser
Could he improve the toaster?
I think you know the answer
He made sure my bread would pop up
quick when it was brown
He made sure I was reliable
and would not let you down
He made me sleek and streamlined
and covered me with chrome
The most unique appliance
in your entire home
I'd tell you just how great I am
but I am not a boaster
I know you like your microwave
but you'll like me the most sir
I'll rock and roll your breakfast
better than a roller coaster
I'm your toaster I'm your toaster
So save me from this dumpster
And I'll repay the debt,
You could make a hundred dollars
Sell me on the internet,
So save me save me save me
Please don't make me beg
Or you'll have to eat some cold bread
With your bacon and your egg
I'd tell you just how great I am
but I am not a boaster
I know you'll like your microwave
but you'll like me the most sir,
I'll toast your Eggo Waffles
even when they're stiff and froze sir
And if you can't take me home, you don't have to take me home
Just give me a lift to the nearest bus station and I'll catch a
ride to
Kansas City to see my baby...
Who left me because I never got workman's comp for the injury I
got doin'
stunt work in that cartoon toaster movie and now I'm down in the
dump down in the dumpster cause my chrome is tarnished and I'm
rusty and I'm just an old outdated tired crippled blind toaster
who didn't survive the kitchen renovation...So get me to the bus
station
I'm your toaster.... I'm your toaster
TOP OF PAGE
5. Disco Johnny
There goes Disco
Johnny,
The girls all love his moves
and he's three inches taller
In his platform disco shoes,
Johnny is a mystery
At the school that he attends,
He doesn't dress or act
Like his other 5th grade friends,
He thinks his friends are square...He's got that savoir faire...
[CHORUS]
Dance, Johnny, dance,
Up there in the hall,
Your bedroom light is burning
Like a glowing Disco ball
Dance, Johnny, dance
Your friends say you're a geek,
But it's Saturday Night Fever for you
Seven nights a week,
Johnny loves the Disco,
He feels it in his soul,
He doesn't like the sound of rap
And he hates Rock and Roll,
His leisure suit's synthetic,
He listens to the Bee Gees,
His teachers never call on him,
They get the heebie-jeebies,
Oh he's so debonair...Chocolate mousse in his hair......
[CHORUS]
The music makes him happy,
That bass line is his life,
And maybe in a dozen years
He'll have a disco wife,
His friends all say he's crazy,
And give him lots of flack,
But Johnny dances nightly
Knowing Disco will come back,
He dances solitaire...in his underwear...
[CHORUS] (twice)
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6. Rhyming Song
[CHORUS]
Rhyming song, rhyming song,
I’ll never sing that rhyming song,
i may be right, I may be... not quite right
but I’ll never sing that rhyming song,
My
friend Bryce lives out West
in a little town called Albuquerque.
Thanksgiving he could not go home
So he stayed with us and he ate ...macaroni and cheese
[CHORUS]
When
Julia was a little girl
she wanted to sit on Santa’s lap,
When she finally saw him at the mall
she jumped up and down and began to...cry
[CHORUS]
Last
month I fell and hurt my back
and I went to the chiropractor,
I caught a ride with Farmer Bob
who let me try out his new... minivan
[CHORUS]
When
Uncle Tony comes to dinner
We always have great adventures,
Last night he couldn’t eat his food
‘Cause that poor man forgot his... teeth,
[CHORUS]
Whenever I sing the Rhyming Song
It’s crazy that the words don’t rhyme,
I try and try to get it right
But it seems to happen every... day
[CHORUS]
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7. Stink Monkey
Late
at night when the moon is in the sky
The neighborhood’s asleep -- no cars driving by
There’s a strange sad noise down the corner at the park
Some dogs hear the noise, they know not to bark --
Stink Monkey
A
wiry little creature plays on the sliding board
He’s swings on the swings and runs through the yard
He climbs on the monkey bars and on the jungle gym
And nobody ever comes out to play with him --
Stink Monkey
[CHORUS]
Stink Monkey says - Don’t wash your hair!
Don’t change your socks or your crusty underwear,
Never brush your teeth or bathe in the sink
And we can share the
stink
Your mom says “Wash!” - don’t listen to her
And you’ll end up with a tail and fur
Like me.
I smell funky. I’m the Stink Stink Stink Stink Monkey
Nobody knows that monkey very well
Not sure why, but perhaps it is the smell
He smells like a fish who’s been smoking a cigar
Or a TV dinner that’s been left out in the car --
Stink Monkey
None
of the animals ever want to play
Even the skunks will sometimes run away
The swing set smells like that monkey for a week
I wish he’d just take a bath in the creek --
Stink Monkey
[CHORUS]
Perhaps he’s always had that awful scent
Or maybe was the victim of a sad accident
Like he fell into a vat of old seafood
or lived in the swamp and his fur mildewed --
Stink Monkey
If
you don’t clean your teeth and under your arms
Your breath and your smell will ruin your charms
If your friends run away when they see you
You might end up like “you know who”
Stink Monkey.....
[CHORUS]
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8.
Bunny Foo Foo - the High School Years
Bunny Foo Foo
Whackin’ mice
Bunny Foo Foo
That wasn’t nice
Little Bunny
Foo Foo was the bully of the school
His whiskers and his leather jacket made him look so cool
The other rabbits lived in fear when Foo Foo was around
And wherever you had trouble, Bunny Foo Foo could be found
Bunny Foo Foo
Talkin’ trash
Bunny Foo Foo
Whiskery mustache
A gang of tough
guy rabbits followed BFF to lunch
They wanted to hit Foo Foo with a wild rabbit punch
But Bunny turned around and looked them all right in the eye
One tough guy wet his fur and another began to cry,
Bunny Foo Foo
Such a goon
Bunny Foo Foo
Should change his tune
They wanted to
find someone Bunny Foo Foo couldn’t beat
they called Larry - an Asian rabbit from the restaurant down the
street
He worked there making sushi, bussing trays and washing dishes
He said “ Bunny Foo Foo will soon be sleeping with the fishes,”
When Bunny Foo
Foo heard the challenge, he thought it was funny
He said “I’m gonna kick his tail and then take his lunch money,”
Larry said “I know Carrote, and he struck a martial pose
He pulled a carrot from his coat - hit Foo Foo in the nose,
Foo Foo’s nose
started to bleed and then his eyes began to water
His legs began to wobble and his courage turned to butter
He said “I’m telling Mommy” and he ran right out the door
And Bunny Foo Foo never bothered anybody any more
Bunny Foo Foo
Best beware
Bunny Foo Foo
Messed- up hare
There’s a moral
to this story that may never find these rabbits,
A bully’s very insecure and has some nasty habits,
When you are in a bad mood - you don’t have to share it
And if you ever meet a bully I hope you ‘re carrying a carrot
Bunny Foo Foo
Bully of the town
Bunny Foo Foo
What goes around, comes around
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9. Monkeys in the House
One Tuesday day last
November
There was nothing much to do,
I was bored with my Nintendo
So I headed for the zoo,
I visited the birdies,
The gi-raffes and tigers too,
But the monkeys all came home with me - I wish they'd gone with
you...
[CHORUS]
Monkeys, Monkeys, Monkeys,
Monkeys in the House,
Monkeys, Monkeys, Monkeys,
Monkeys in the House,
They tease the dog, they eat my food,
They have this Monkey attitude,
I miss my days of solitude,
Ya wanna buy a Monkey??
For weeks they lived out in my yard
And climbed up in my tree,
They threw pine cones at the mail man
And coconuts at me!
They screamed and made rude noises
When I played my guitar,
And yesterday when I went out
They were sitting in my car.
[CHORUS]
I tried my best to catch them
With a monkey trap I dug,
I baited it with ice cream
And hot chocolate in a mug
I went out in the morning
and looked into the hole
There was no chunky monkey there
Just an empty mug and bowl.
[CHORUS]
I pretended to ignore them
I looked the other way,
But I armed myself with a monkey wrench and lots of pepper spray,
When I left my bedroom window up, They sneaked into my room,
Although I couldn't see them I could smell their monkey fumes!
[CHORUS]
Those dirty little monkeys
They never wash their hair,
They never flush the toilet
And they don't wear underwear,
Those noisy little monkeys,
They screech in awful tones,
The bang on pots and pans
and try to sing like Davey Jones.
[CHORUS]
If I could sell these monkeys
I wouldn't be in debt,
I'd be rich like Michael Jordon
And drive a red Corvette,
If I could sell these monkeys,
I'd buy a little farm
A hundred miles from the zoo
And safe from monkey harm.
[CHORUS]
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